2023 & Me
New Year, New Life
It’s officially the start of the new year and I’ve got a lot to say about how this year already looks AND feels different.
My 2022 started out as sad, somber, and sour with the passing of one of the world’s most incredible souls to ever exist on this little blue rock. My family & I lost our matriarch, our grandmother, and, frankly, our minds. For me, it was not just a hard loss of my best friend and supporter, it felt like the death of my childhood a little. Growing up felt like a whirlwind of adventures, spontaneity, and pure joy swirling about like a hurricane.
I never seemed to stop moving, laughing, eating, and playing. I was in the moment with every cartoon character I drew that was proudly displayed on my grandparents’ refrigerator. I was fixated on making grass balls while standing in the outfield of a supposedly important little league game. I rode the wind like a soaring eagle on my card-spoked bicycle that leaped off of a makeshift ramp into the air to land on the soft, smooth gravel below. Scraped knees, fresh pancakes, and endless reasons to sleep soundly at night felt like living in a dream.
My parents have worked hard to help us hold onto the bliss of being a kid over the years but this past year was especially tough. Our Nanie (as we called her) seemed to take all of the feelings of what made life so FULL with her when she left. Starting a new year just days after that was less of a “Happy Holiday Season” and more like a “Leave Me Alone or Get Throat Punched” type of vibe. We were all in pieces, looking ahead to an ominous fog of the unknown.
The worst thing about life is that it never pauses. Not for savoring a breathtaking moment or procrastinating someone’s last breath. The world keeps turning, experiences turn into memories, and people just have to figure out how to live in this “new normal” of their existence. Pausing life just isn’t an option. Although it has been – and still is – slow & clunky, we’ve been moving forward.
The rest of 2022 was filled with trips, tons of family time, and, above all, CHANGE. After now years of therapy and inner work on myself, I have adopted a few new perspectives that are propelling me forward “Into the unknooooooooooown” (Frozen 2, 2019) of 2023:
- Memories usually become the best version of a moment
- It’s ok to grieve but not ok to thieve
- When it comes to emotions, let it out (safely) before you can let it go
- F*ck the system
- Nothing matters
- Everything matters
- I can’t change people but I can change myself
- I’m ok being the black sheep
- The measure of a good day is how often you were present
And my New Years’ Resolution & Intention…
ACTION MAKES IT HAPPEN.
Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.Walt Disney
moving forward – with pauses
This new year is giving me an opportunity to rise from the ashes of 2022 and plunge into creating my DREAM LIFE and not just pursuing a DREAM JOB. I’ve been planning, building, collaborating, and creating to give YOU – you magnificent soul – exactly what you deserve:
Someone on your team.
2023 is one day in and it’s already shaping up to be my most exciting year of creation & growth yet. I’m setting out to develop a library of resources to help you heal from all angles. I’m developing new ways to teach others about their own healing potential. I’m gathering peer-reviewed evidence that the world we live in is not just an extraordinary mathematical anomaly but it also has opportunities for us to thrive down to the molecule – and I can prove it.
Quitting my job, moving through grief, and expanding our family is a lot of change. Even though I can’t pause life, I can pause in the moment to really live in this new year with vigorous intent. I can reflect on the choices that brought me here. I can stop & love with more abundance than I ever have. I can be proud of myself for all that I have overcome. Working for myself is scary but I’m ok with that because I know I will be living the life I always wanted to live – “No Ragrets” (We’re the Miller’s, 2013).
Spending all day creating, connecting, and cultivating in the world around me is nothing short of exciting. I can work hard AND play hard. Go on an adventure, bathe in a new story, meet someone across the world, and make a lasting impact somewhere.
If you’re wondering if I wanted to start this year off strong with a blog entry like this because I just watched Julie & Julia, 2009 last night as it was one of my Nanie’s favorite movies to watch with my mom to marinate in the joy of sharing love through food and I resonate with Julie’s struggle to step into the life I know I can live so the best place to start would be here with my words on some blog nobody might read…
Then the answer is yes.
Here’s to taking another step through the fog, at least.
And in the words of the monumentally wonderful, Julia Child:
*BONUS – Welcome, sunny!
On January 1, 2023, we expanded our family by four sets of beans and 100% organic cuteness. This is Sunny and he is already the world’s most playful & snuggly boy who doesn’t know how loved he is yet – his big sister Luna is still accepting his existence. JUST LOOK AT HIM THOUGH!